I can still remember it as if it was last week. We were at the hospital on a miserable rainy, drizzly fall evening. My husband and I were hearing devastating news from the ultrasound technician. I looked at the ultrasound screen but I didn’t know what I was looking for. Her face was serious and she eventually said to us “I am so sorry…“ I was 18 weeks pregnant and we lost our first baby.
I kept asking out loud, “Kamisama! Why God? Why did you take our first baby from us?” I wailed loudly in the parking lot at the hospital as we tried to find our car. My husband had no words for me. We felt abandoned and bereft. The world suddenly seemed to have lost all color and sound. I looked outside from the car window, as the rain pounded against the glass, and I felt empty and lonely. The world went by in slow-motion and everything seemed monotone. How could I face the sudden and unanticipated reality that I was no longer a mother-to-be? After five years of anticipation and waiting patiently for a little one, would he never be coming?
Peace from God is very mysterious. From the human perspective, my situation was awful and dejected but at the same time, I felt a peace, which I had never experienced before or after. Surely peace is not dependent on our circumstances. Even in the midst of the storm, God can provide His unexplainable peace which the world definitely can never offer.
When I was 19 years old, I had an appendix surgery in Japan. When I was discharged from the hospital, I thought that I would never ever have any surgery again, expect for a C-section, maybe.
Life is full of unexpected experiences. I have to have my surgery at the end of this summer. Thankfully, this is not a life threatening type of surgery, yet it is not a routine surgery either. I am nervous and anxious of course, but I am very thankful that I have many faithful friends who are praying for me. I asked them if they can share some Scriptures which encouraging them when they face challenges and difficulties. I received 24 Scriptures from 20 of my dear friends. I read these Bible verses over and over. His Words are living and active: working deep inside of my heart. The Power of His Breath took away my fear and doubts.
I will post 24 Scriptures and today’s Scripture is Psalm 4:8. My dear sister in Christ in Italy sent me this.
Who though he was in the form of God Did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped But emptied himself By taking the form of a servant Being born in the likeness of men And being found in human form He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death Even death on a cross Therefore God has highly exalted him And bestowed on him the name that is aboveevery name